My Darling
by Sick Of It All
Summary: Faith and Xander are in love. 'Nuff said. Crap summary I know


(AU- No demons, slayers or mumbo jumbo)

* * *

I was ready. All the planning I had made for Valentines Day had now come to fruition and though I had spent most of the day touching up our apartment so everything was perfect, I still had that nagging feeling about whether I was doing the right thing. But there was only one way to find out.

Leaving the tomato soup ( a speciality of mine) to simmer I strode into our bedroom and looked at the tantalising lingerie that I had set out ready for me as I wanted to make tonight as special as I possibly could.

Sitting by my vanity I pulled my sheer stockings over my freshly shaved legs which made me giddy at the sensual charges erupting within me. It's sleek cover sheened my skin and I couldn't help but extend those luxurious feelings by running my hands along my well toned calves and up my thighs straightening out the seam before clipping them onto my black garter belt decorated with silver stars. I slipped my soft silk bra over my shoulders and attached it at the back after a slight struggle as I didn't want to ruin it, not when they accentuated my matching silken panties so well, both in a rich amethyst. I knew I was hot and I felt it.

My nails were already painted with a manic red and I had paid extra caution throughout the day to make sure I didn't chip them (despite the added topcoat of lacquor) which allowed me more time to make sure my make up was just so. The powder concealer swept over my face and after so many recent late nights I really needed it but after a few minutes of work it gave me a smooth and uniform texture to my skin which glowed in the dying light of the sun that shone through the cracks in the bedroom blinds. I usually used oil free foundation and today was no exception as I wanted to appear flawless for my darling Valentine and I applied it's soft beige to my face as I whistled along to the cheesy eighties pop cd that played in the background.

Constant upward strokes of the mascara brush elongated my lashes and gave them such volume that they fluttered almost shyly but still seductively, but I was careful not to smudge them as I knew that later, if all went to plan, they would be smeared everywhere. Using a soft puff I put a touch of blush on the apples of my cheeks which only added to the radiating glow I was already showing from deep within. I knew how much my honey loved to see me in the 'Harlot' lipstick and so I grinned excitedly as I ran it's dark hue over my lips and I blotted them on a tissue and pouted a little to show off to myself mainly, but damn did I look good.

Pulling the faded photo from the corner of the mirror I ran my fingertips over it. It was taken the day I proposed and we had such sincere warm smiles on our faces, so much love between us, and I swore that day it would never change.

I kissed our image and put it back making sure that my lipstick didn't leave a mark and got up to admire myself. I twisted and turned in the mirror watching my glorious reflection as I knew my lover would be blown away by my efforts. But then I realised the time and had no time for self indulgence as I poured the red satin dress over my frame that clung in all the right places but it's skirts were left loose and billowing so my baby could see the new shoes I had splurged upon. I had been embarassed about buying such girly things in a store so I bought them over the internet as a certain degree of anonymity was a great comfort and they fitted like a pair of gloves, that was $300 well spent.

My dark locks were almost the same color as my lover's and I left them free to hang just past my shoulders but I did make sure that they were perfectly touched up as I wanted to show my sweetheart just how much our love meant to me, an exquisite frame for my smouldering eyes. I added the silver necklace which was a gift from 'Santa' and let it's thin chain hold the tiny heart pendant just below the high neckline of my dress.

Checking the time once more I wandered into the kitchen to see how dinner was progressing. As I stood in my red open toed heels I inhaled the sweet aroma of the meal I had slaved over all day and added a touch more basil as I tottered about smoothly in my gleaming four inch shoes.

It was nearly time and as I gave the apartment once last glance I ran over my checklist for about the fifitieth time today. The table was covered in a creaseless satin cloth with blood red napkins by the glistening silver cutlery I had borrowed from Mrs Summers. The champagne sat in the bucket encased in ice and the glasses were spotless.

Hearing the key in the lock of our apartment door I readied myself standing in my long gown which hung mid calf illuminated by the soft glow of the candles I had lit all around the room.

"Hey baby what's with the.....wow, you look stunning", came the wide eyed response of my other half who today was wearing a stylish black suit.

"Thankyou honey, I just wanted to look good for you", I replied with a slight blush, "Are those for me?"

"Oh yeah, I just got these for you 'cos....I just wanted you to know how much I loved you....valentine"

A dozen long stemmed red roses were offered out to me and I took them into my perfectly manicured hands and sniffed them deeply. They were beautiful.

"You know, I was hoping to spend Valentines with "Alice", I'm glad you thought the same thing"

Our lips pressed together and I knew that I was in the presence of my soul mate. I looked deep into those dark chocolate eyes and I saw nothing but unbridled love and complete support of my choices as the soft material of my dress shimmied across the sharp cut of the suit I had encouraged her to buy.

"I love you so much Faith", I whimpered out as my tears began to run.

"Oh sweetie come here. You know I wanted to spend Valentines with my husband as well as you, so this is just perfect"

She held me tight as she had done so many times since she first caught me dressed and just let me be me. When she first found out I liked to crossdress I cried so much and begged her for forgiveness but there was no anger from her, no condescension, no judgment. The only thing that hurt her was that I had kept it a secret from her for so long. But since that day she had encouraged my dressing as my alter ego "Alice" and it had made our relationship rock solid as to find a lover so accepting, a friend so understanding and a wife so passionate was the rarest of gifts and one I would not squander as I couldn't imagine living without her now. She truly was my everything and nothing would or could ever change that.

Though I was not yet brave enough to go outside in my feminine guise I knew that Faith would be behind me all the way, my confidence was building everytime she helped me dress and I hoped that soon I could find the courage to show my friends who I was. Two sides of the same coin.

I knew Faith loved both of my personas and it took our lovemaking to unimaginable heights of ecstasy but I was still all man. I would forever be her strong and dependable rock when she needed me to be. We shared our clothes and I got to act all 'girly' when she wanted to act all butch, which was quite often. Ours was a marriage of equal parts and I couldn't be happier.

"What smells so good?", she asked breaking from our hug.

"Oh, I made your favorite, I wanted to make tonight something special"

She smiled widely and wiped the first smear of mascara from my cheek and kissed me once more.

"I love you Alice, as much as I love Xander"

I slid back into her arms and just hugged her for all I was worth.

For tomorrow I would have to put the make up, the wig and the dress away.

Tomorrow I would have to put my suit back on and greet the day once more as Xander.

And each time I did, I died a little more inside having to hide so much of myself from my friends.


End file.
